Feeling Nostalgic

I've been feeling nostalgic lately. Blame it on pinterest, Thanksgiving week, family photo albums... Memory lane is so enchanting.

 

The gem I discovered this week...

 

 

I think I will frame it.

 

My sister and I have always loved Christmas...thanks to mom and dad. The above picture was snapped at a Christmas tree farm... tree farms still bring me the warmest feelings. Maybe that's why I dream of having one... (true...it's on my bucket list...)

Dad and I started decorating the house for mom since she is in TN. She wanted rustic. Here's a peak at what we have done so far...

We had the monogram frame, the log slats and the pillar candles, so it was only a matter of combining all of the items together. We had fun creating the mantle... The garland is actually grapevine with a strand of lights loosely draped. Fantastic and rustic.

We are adding logs to the buckets at the bottom, but feel very happy with the finished results. Our tree is simpler this year. Two strands of lights are embellished with fabric strap ties and grapevine wrap. Beautiful!

Dad and I found these gorgeous wreaths at Walmart -we were so surprised to find out they were real and only $5 a piece. We aren't finished with it yet, but we are pretty excited about it so far. We are putting log slat under the candles. I added ornaments today too.. 

Thanks, Pinterest, for the ornament/chandelier idea

The foyer...we haven't finished it yet, but we are waiting on a creative idea to hit us. The burlap wreath on the mirror looks better than this pic reveals. The pinecones in the bucket are fun and traditional.  

"Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things" - My Favorite Things
This year, TC and I are wrapping all of our presents in brown paper. My first wrapped gift was added to the decor today.

All this rustic, homemade, nostalgic, and traditional effort made me grab a few other old fashioned items at the store...and yes, I did make an orange and clove ornament....Remember those???

 

Gratitude

"Keep your eyes open to your mercies.

The man who forgets to be thankful has

fallen asleep in life." - Robert Louis Stevenson

I've been reading everyone's Facebook posts about what they are thankful for each day. I know it has gotten on some people's nerves, but I personally think it's been great. It's nice to get on Facebook and see positive comments instead of "poor me" posts or complaints. We have a lot to be thankful for in life... simple details to major provisions. Though I did not join the multitudes posting on Facebook, I am abundantly thankful for many things in my life. Last year, I made a Thanksgiving list of all the things I am thankful for - and I'm grateful all the more this year.

Mom was in TN with my grandfather this year so she could not be here for Thanksgiving with us! She was missed! As TC says, she is the "Commander of Fun," the "General of Good Times, the "President of Partying". Seems funny but my mom (and my aunt) add a ton of fun to every family holiday. Though it was different from last year without my mom, sister and brother-in-law, Dad, TC and I had a fantastic time relaxing and enjoying  the lack of an agenda (except, of course, for our thorough planning of Black Friday).

I managed to successfully cook Thanksgiving dinner. (*Brag moment*) Because I love Thanksgiving dinner (Christmas dinner too) so much, I could not figure out what to sacrifice, so I cooked everything we usually do, but halved the recipes. Delicious. This year we missed the paper...:( We forgot it was on Wednesday night (see what happens when people are missing...I tried to keep everything up to par, but ehhh). For the most part we managed to squeeze in every part of fun and relaxation we could. Snapshots of the week are below. I hope everyone had a wonderful and Happy Thanksgiving!

Treats to start the week off

We worked on a Christmas puzzle

Dad and I prepared the turkey

Watched the Macy's Day Parade in our Christmas pjs

Enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner

Prepared for Black Friday!

 **Baking, Thanksgiving dinner prep, a Christmas puzzle, Christmas movies, white chocolate milkshakes, Black Friday list making, late night movie, last minute Walmart run, Christmas music, pumpkin bread, pecan pie aroma in the air....I love it!** - Facebook post from Thanksgiving night

Bonfires and Fake Snow

This weekend started with some humor from my husband. "Question," he asked as I was scurrying to get ready for our first Friday night plans involving a date in months. "Have you ever heard of this thing called 'the weekend'?" "Hmmm...it sounds vaguely familiar...." I grinned. "Well supposedly it's something people have who work 40 hours a week - they get two days off," said TC. "That's crazy!"
 

If you don't laugh you'll cry. :) And if you don't make time, you'll waste time. So with 45 minutes to spare before a scheduled college and career event, we rushed downtown for the annual Christmas tree lighting. It was even better that we thought it would be! There was free hot chocolate, snow machines, dancing, live music, pictures with Santa, lights on the shops and around the square and face painting and a petting zoo for children. It was fantastic! FYI: If you are wondering what local things you can do this holiday season (and all year round) monthly, local parenting magazine have the best ideas...it's usually how we find out details about local shindigs. Yes, I am brave enough to pick up a parenting magazine...

After the lighting of the Christmas tree we hopped in the car and rushed over to help dad finish setting up for the college and career bonfire. We cooked hot dogs and roasted marhsmellows, played a few games and lost track of time. Only our numb fingers indicated how long we had been outside!

Thankful for experiencing a weekend again...

                                    

Newlyweds

Last weekend two of my best friends were married. They are absolutely the most loving, deserving and kind-hearted people around. I'm thankful TC and I have friends like them. Here's to many years of happiness and joy! Love you both!

 

My man looking good in his new suit!

 

Welcome to the Married-People club, Mr. and Mrs. Smith!

Time

“How did it get so late so soon?”
― Dr. Seuss

It seems time has gotten away from me. It's hard to believe my last post was July 3rd! Blogging...I've missed you!

This is my favorite time of year...and I am so afraid it is going to pass me by without a second glance if I don't slow down. And so I write.

You may ask, "What, hey tell, have you been doing these past few months?" Or maybe not, but I feel compelled to share. I stopped blogging in July when my dear TC stepped on my computer and shattered the screen. (It's a sensitive topic). I attempted to use his computer to blog, but he has a mac. Yes, that's right, I cannot use a mac - at least not without becoming instantly frustrated. So I waited to continue writing until I purchased a new pc, which did not come until tax free weekend in August.

Before my new computer arrived, my camera also broke - technology was not kind to me this summer. It broke just in time for our cruise we took to Mexico. Thankfully, my dad saved the day and let me borrow his camera. The cruise was fantastic. A true vacation. No cell phones, computer, text messages, agenda (unless you count the "fun"-filled schedule provided by Carnival Cruise Lines), or work assignments. Bliss. We loved it.

Back from the cruise, back to reality, back to CRAZINESS. In this same time period of July/August, TC was offered an additional role at UM as the Assistant Women's Soccer Coach... Absolutely thrilled! We feel it was and is such a blessing that he has been able to work with such an awesome head coach and incredible team. Speaking of which, they are currently ranked #2 in the nation. Yes, you may call him Coach T- I'm so proud!

 

 

August is the busiest month for us at our jobs. We love our jobs, but August does not leave much room for anything outside of work. Add to what we felt was already a pretty full working schedule TC's role as the new Assistant Women's Soccer Coach (*Cheers/Applause*), working to help my mother with her ever-growing business (check out Elizabeth Ann's), my teaching a psychology course, and other everyday life surprises - voila! August extended into November and produced an absent blogger. But absolutely no complaints. August, September, October...I've been reminded of the great friendships I have that can withstand the obstacles of time. I've been reminded that family is so important and so refreshing in the midst of abundant stress. I've been reminded home is a haven from the chaos. I've been reminded to be intentional as always in all things. And I've been reminded of God's constant sovereignty and provision. With that said, I will be grateful for a slowdown :)

A brief update on recent events: My grandfather is doing well and recovering wonderfully from both surgeries (THANK YOU for your prayers), my two dear friends are getting married and TC's team is playing in the SSAC Quarterfinals tournament this weekend, and TC and I finally got to spend an ENTIRE day together this past Sunday had a great time getting in the Christmas spirit!

It's good to be back.

We did manage to sneak a photo session in with Love Ya Jess 

saying sorry

Post #2 of the newlywed series.
I love something I read in Love and Respect yesterday (if you have not read this book yet, you should). I discovered me and TC aren’t the only ones who get on the “Crazy Cycle” for the SILLIEST things.

We believe in saying sorry. Not the “sorry-to-end-this-silly-argument” kind of sorry (though we have definitely been guilty of such), but the genuine, “Please forgive me for hurting your feelings” kind of sorry. It’s really liberating and can draw you closer to your spouse if you let it. Going back to toilet paper, I quickly made something about being in the right. There is a lot of harm that can be created in trying to be right about everything. Whenever couple friends get married, we usually tell them, “It’s okay to apologize first – it isn’t about being right.” We say it because we are still learning that. Its humbling to apologize to someone (especially if you feel you were right), but it relays love and value to your spouse. And you feel loved and respected when someone is kind enough to ask for true forgiveness.

So bite the bullet. When you think your spouse said something, though not meant the way you interpreted, it is really easy for things to escalate quickly. For example, early on if TC said something to me and I interpreted the statement as a negative comment towards me, I usually responded in less than half a second with a defensive and equally negative comment. Thankfully, we both have learned to say, “Okay, wait a minute. I don’t think you understood what I meant.” Usually, I have to argue my point a few more times (because I am STUBBORN)…and then Aha! I actually HEAR what he meant and at that point to spare myself from further humility I repeat what I think I now understand. Voila. Simple clarification and we avoid the further silliness of our argument by me saying “Oh….. Oops….I’m Sorry…I’m a jerk.” Insert true apology. (There was a time in the store when TC stayed eerily calm as I relentlessly expressed how upset and confused I was about a comment he made…then it became clear that was another obvious interpretation for his statement. I immediately went “Oh. You meant…. I’m sorry” and we both laughed. It was THAT ridiculous).

I've learned a lot from TC about this scenario. If he hears me say something he thinks is rude, unnecessary or defensive, he usually says..”Whoa…wait. What do you mean?” Or if it’s the other way around and he spoke first and I react, he usually says “Whoa..wait.. what did you think I said?”

I call this the “Whoa…Wait”. It’s brilliant really. Another way we’ve heard this expounded upon is in “Every Mother’s Wise Statement Handbook.” It’s called the, “Think before you speak (or re-speak)” rule.

Neither one of us have perfected this, but it has often kept us from hashing out something silly for TOO long (but we definitely hash out the silly things. Isn’t it bizarre how things like toilet paper, poor use of intonations, asking what time church start for the 104^th week in a row, Redbox 1$ movie rentals, ESPN phone apps, and jumping out from behind the door and squealing loudly in the bathroom while someone is taking a shower and thought they were alone can cause such a stir? But it does.) Many well-meaning and good-hearted people end up getting upset and/or hurt from simple things. So it’s okay to take your efforts in minimizing disaster from "silly" things seriously.

So, a few hints about what we’ve learned and are still working on:          

1. Think before you speak

2. Ask for clarification. Listen, repeat what you understood and clarify both ways.

3. Apologize (Forgiveness is proven to have powerful effects)

4. Come back together and maybe laugh later about your efforts in learning to “crack” the other’s code (if you are the laughing kind –we are). Silence and a defeated retreat don’t mend the situation, it only makes matters worse.

TC is really nice. And good looking. This is from our weekend in ATL a few weeks ago to celebrate my college roommate's wedding. There is another picture from this event that is priceless. Maybe I will post it soon.

PS. TC approved this post.
P.S.S in other news, we are getting pretty excited about our cruise in a few weeks.
We had a great weekend with my sis, brother-in-law, parents and grandparents at the Gulf. Ready for the next fun outing.

toilet paper

Post #1 of the newlywed series.

It’s ridiculous really, that one of our first “discussions” (we prefer this terminology to “argument”) was about toilet paper. On our honeymoon.  And while it wasn’t really a “discussion”, I think my tone said otherwise.

“Do you have a preference on toilet paper – over or under?” My sweet husband of 3 days inquired.

“Of course not. That would be silly.” (I really don’t remember my exact response because at this moment, I immediately felt new-wife insecurity creep up – I immediately thought to myself “YOU put the toilet paper on wrong and your husband is now taking issue with it. Way to go.”). Notice the second part of my sentence. In half a second, my defense mechanism was flying. I guarded myself to protect myself and ultimately took a jab at him to make myself feel better. (I feel the judgment, but believe me I realized it – an embarrassing revelation).

Insert his logical thought. “Well, since you don’t, and I do, could we roll the toilet paper over the top?”

Let me break this moment down for you. TC, who now tells you he regrets bringing it up on our honeymoon, was simply recognizing something we had never had to deal with before. He seized the opportunity. I, who constantly reassures my husband when we laugh about this story that he absolutely should not feel bad about having brought up toilet paper on day 3 of our honeymoon, came face to face with the recognition that I was now sharing my life and the learning was just beginning.  

As a master’s level marriage and family therapist, this is not exactly how I imagined my first “discussion” as a married woman would go. I thought it would be a far more in-depth, theory crushing, practical application of communication skill-building “discussion.”  I was having to adjust - a revelation that never should have taken me off guard because I’d studied relationships for years (I know…). However, “knowing” did not make me immune to the challenges of two unique people coming together. I was going to adjust a lot. As Dr. Emerson Eggerich says “Life is in the daily” (Love and Respect).

We laugh about it now and have dissected that moment multiple times. What TC says he realized is timing is important. I realized that things had been my way for a long time. I didn’t care what way the toilet paper came off the roll. But I was married now. To my best friend. And that meant we would be sharing life together, including toilet paper rolls. And if my husband had a preference I could show a simple way I care about the seemingly “little” things by meeting this request.

Before I make my husband sound like a crazy request maker (except all of you other die hard “over-or-under toilet paper-ers" who are undoubtedly taking his side on this one), I want to highlight my mentality. Unfortunately in that moment it was about being right for me, and about attempting to be a “perfect” wife in 3 days of marriage – no flaws, everything like a well-oiled machined. The toilet paper discussion taught me early on:  Sometimes I’d be wrong. Sometimes I’d be right. Sometimes we’d agree. Sometimes we wouldn’t. Sometimes I’d have a preference. Sometimes I would have no preference, and so could always find a simple way to remind my husband his preferences and his thoughts matter to me, because he matters to me. There were a lot of other things I learned from this really small conversation, but we can save it for later.

Two years later, the toilet paper always goes over the top.

P.S. TC approved this post J

the newlywed series

I’ve had a lot of friends get married in the past two years since Trent and I got married June 5^th, 2010. I always try to think of what special moment, memory or lesson I can pass along to encourage my newly married or soon-to-be-married friends. Marriage is good. I’ve always believed that. It’s why I pursued a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. I believe in marriage between a man and a woman and the life of love it can bring.

I am definitely not making the assumption we all will go through the same things. We’re all in different stages and places in life. We all have our own trials and struggles to go through. But I hope to share some funny and encouraging insight into our lives as newlyweds. It’s not been perfect, but I am absolutely convinced every bump in the road, every good and bad date and every crazy fun adventure has increased our strength, happiness and faith.

I’ve listened to others, read their stories and been encouraged by them. I want to do the same.  I want to share our experience and hopefully grow from it along the way too. And please – if you’ve been there share your stories in the comments!  Enjoy the next few posts!      

PS. My computer was recently stepped on and my camera still rests unfixed. Thus my visual additions will be limited. 

Home

Finally home. Three weeks is a looonnng time without your best friend.

Needless to say, my heart is very, very happy he's home.

Happiness!

The YHM groups had a great turn out welcoming them back home!

P.S Thanks dad for snapping the pics!!!

Happy Anniversary

A letter to my love.

Happy Anniversary, TC!

It seems crazy to think it has already been two years. I don't know how I could possibly put into words everything I've learned, like and love about us - about you. Thank you for being the man and husband you have been these past two years. I wrote a letter this past weekend to a friend trying to share all the things I've learned about marriage in just two years. I'm thankful I could share the things I did with her. Thankful that through the good times we love deeply and celebrate. Thankful that through tough times we love even deeper and get even stronger. Thankful God is always at the center.

These are the words I think about when I think about us:

Love Friendship Romance Intimacy Forgiveness Humility Laughter

Kindness Gentleness Honor Respect Memories Hope Trust

Faith Prayer Smiles Dreams Dating Protective Perseverence

Communication Service Giving Sacrifice Committment Appreciation Gratitude

Adventure Creativity Encouragement

I could have wrote pages on each one.

Thank you for being the husband God called you to be and showing me what it means to have those words be a part of our marriage. I'm so happy I married my best friend on June 5, 2010. It's as wonderful as I always dreamed.

 I love you and I always, always will.

"Grow old... with me, the best is yet to be..."

I love you, TC. To the moon and back.
Hurry home to me!

Rehearsal Dinner Memory

Two years ago tonight (speechless!) TC and I were getting ready for our wedding day at our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. All of our best friends and family were there to celebrate...We LOVED our rehearsal night. And I love reflecting, part of the reason I blog, so tonight I spent the evening going through photo albums. I added a pic from our perfect rehearsal dinner (a little blurry). And since TC is not here, it seems like a perfect way to spend the evening. Happy almost Anniversary, love!

Found another! But I have to give credit to my Sarah Rose for this one :)

New Friends and Reunions

My sweet friend, Falon, is getting married in less than two weeks! We were college roommates 5 years ago. Time flies! This past weekend we celebrated, bride, bridesmaids, and friends in Tybee Island and Savannah, GA. We had a such a great time relaxing and catching up! I met new friends this week and reunited with some of my favorites. Perfection.

 
We spent Saturday on the beach swimming, tanning, talking and paddle-boarding.

 We watched Jukebox Journey at the Old Historic Savannah Theater! Fabulous.

 

 The beautiful bride!

 The girl's getting ready to watch the show...we all wore black and the bride wore white! It was fun!      

My favorite, Sarah Rose. And Falon on stage (the crown drew a lot of attention...clearly).

Recapping the show...

Thankful for restful and rejuvenating weekends. Ready for TC to be home. TWO MORE DAYS! Speaking of which...our two year anniversary is tomorrow. Miss that man more than words.

One week

     Trent has been gone to Africa for one week now. Longest. week. ever. Two more to go. I'm torn in the middle between not wishing time away because I know God is using him and his team in a special way in Busia (Busia is located here) and wishing it would hurry so Trent can be back home. I'm trying to fight flesh on this one, but one thing is for sure, I miss that man more than words. So, I am respectfully counting down the days. 

We haven't been able to talk except a few minutes last Saturday and a few sentences shared in Facebook messages. Occasionally his team is able to blog, so I am encouraged every time I see the work they are doing. (By the way, you HAVE to check out their blogs - so refreshing!) TC is with a pretty incredible team of students and I know this trip will be life changing for all of them.

I've been blessed by many good friends and a wonderful family who have helped to keep me busy and distracted. In fact, this is the first time this week I've even been able to sit and write about this experience. But God is good. The extravert feeler in me needed just that (tears come a little to easy). I am thankful for such wonderful people in my life - the kind who start their day praying with you (for you, your husband and his team), let you crash in their spare room, let you tag along as the third wheel, and meet you in the middle even though they have a lot on their to-do list.

Missing all the silly little things and counting down the days...